The result is both a debunking and a confirmation. In contrast to the idea that teen sex is harmful, the study found that teens who were engaged in committed relationships and having sex with that partner do no better or worse in school than those who abstain. Teens in serious relationships did not differ from their abstinent counterparts in terms of their grade-point average or how attached they are to school or college expectations. They were also not more likely to have problems in school, be suspended or absent.

However, teens having casual sex did not fare nearly as well.  The study confirmed that teens who have sex outside of any romantic attachment had lower GPAs, cared less about school and were at greater risk of being suspended or expelled. They also had lower odds of expecting to go to college.

Of course, the study does not pretend to conclude something about causality. In other words, we can’t say if casual sex
amongst teens is the cause of a decline in academics, or if the casual sex and poor academics are both symptoms of a deeper issue that needs to be addressed. We can, however, conclude that adolescent sexual activity in and of itself is not cause for academic concern (although parents may worry about it for other reasons). Instead, we need to pay
attention to the context in which the sexual activity occurs; in other words, if a teen is having casual sex there are likely to be other troubles for them as well.

Samantha Smithstein, Psy.D.

One of the main reasons is called dopamine. Research on the brain indicates that addiction is about powerful memories, and recovery is a slow process in which the influence of those memories is diminished. Both addictive drugs and highly pleasurable or intense experiences (such as a life or death thrill, a crime, or an orgasm) trigger the release of the brain chemical dopamine, which in turn creates a reward circuit in the brain. This circuit registers that intense experience as “important” and creates lasting memories of it as a pleasurable experience. Dopamine changes the brain on a cellular level, commanding the brain to “do it again,” which heightens the possibility of relapse even long after the behavior (or drug) has stopped. Dopamine also helps to explain why intense experiences can be just as addictive as drugs.

Additional research on addiction indicates that dopamine is not just a messenger that dictates what feels good; it is also tells the brain what is important and what to pay attention to in order to survive. And the more powerful the experience is, the stronger the message is to the brain to repeat the activity for survival. Additionally, those who have fewer salient things in their lives that capture their interest and attention are more vulnerable to those things that may give them a rush and alert the brain in a powerful way.

This research on dopamine goes a long way in explaining how someone can become addicted to something that can become so destructive and detrimental in their lives and the lives of those they love. It also helps to explain why meditation, yoga, exercise and acupuncture can be helpful tools in the fight against addiction, as they address the physiology and biochemistry of the individual. Battling addiction is not simply a matter of will-power, but also is about transforming an individual’s body, mind, and life and creating a new set of experiences for the brain to register as important and pleasurable. It is also about patience, healing, not taking relapse personally, and the passage of time to allow the memories to fade.

Samantha Smithstein, Psy.D.

For teens, the obsession and fandom related to “Twilight” is understandable and really nothing new. There are always books and book characters, movies and movie stars, music and musicians that capture the attention of large numbers of teenagers, fueling a fantasy of love, romance, passion, danger and safety all at once. Being a teen is all about surges of powerful and new emotions, experiences and feelings, the intensity of which needs a fantasy outlet.

But what about grown women? Who are the scores of mature, adult women – many with marriages, families, and careers – who are swept away in the supernaturally strong arms of a young and beautiful vampire? One could argue that mature women are also experiencing a surge of hormones and a change of life that feels confusing, intense, and needs an outlet.

What are these women longing for? Is it the same as the teens or different? In the LA Times article a 50 year old woman who runs a “Twilight” fan site states, “If there is a chemical that’s released when you’re falling in love, your brain has it when you’re reading or watching “Twilight.” You get that utopic feeling of first love and you want to experience it over and over again.” Indeed, there is a chemical released when you fall in love, and it does feel good. A simple but powerful desire for that feeling could be part of the appeal (and can be addictive, as “love addicts” will tell you).

Does the longing for the perfect romance ever go away? When we are young children most of us idealize our parents who seem perfect to us. As we grow older, we see their faults and imperfections, some of which are not small. Some would argue we spend the rest of our lives trying to get that fantasy version back again, and a book/movie that presents us with the perfect partner hooks right back into that very young part of us longing for the hero we lost.

Additionally, when men and women hit midlife they are forced to take stock of their lives and face some of the ways they may still feel unfulfilled or unhappy. Perhaps the story of a perfect romance, filled with longing and unrequited desire, hits close to home. Whatever the reason, the phenomenon continues. Worldwide, “The Twilight Saga” has sold around 100 million books, and the first two movies alone have grossed more than $1.1 billion. Wednesday night the third film, “Twilight: Eclipse” brought in an estimated $68.5 million. Clearly, the movie speaks to many, young and not so young, loud and clear.

Samantha Smithstein, Psy.D.

Why the “little pink pill?”  In typical fashion, we have identified a problem (some number of women don’t feel like having sex) and attempted to address it expediently with medical intervention.  (There must be a pill for that!)  But it turns out that when trying to peer into the pool of sexuality we discover it’s actually a vast ocean that we have explored little of.

There has been a paucity of studies about women’s sexuality.  What few studies there are vary wildly in their results, estimating between approximately 10% and 50% of women experience problems related to sexual desire (a considerable difference) and provide no conclusive evidence about what the cause may be.  The debate over Flibanserin has highlighted how little we know about the mechanics of female sexual desire or lack thereof.  Experts have guessed that the causes range from hormones, to body image and self-esteem, to lack of a skilled sexual partner, but these are all guesses and so far no pill has been able to do what Viagra does: bypass further understanding about the psychological or emotional causes of dysfunction of male sexuality and simply increase blood flow to the necessary parts (in Viagra’s case, the penis).

In truth, there is much more we don’t understand about sexuality and the mechanics of desire than we do understand.  We have taken a preliminary stab at identifying what dysfunction looks like (lack of desire, desire for the wrong thing/person) but these definitions are for the most part subjective and based largely on the negative effect it has on others.  But what causes sexual dysfunction remains as elusive as what causes sexual function and sexual desire to begin with.

Clearly there is a hunger for sex – sexual connection, sexual desire, sexual energy.  Pfizer claims on its web site that nine Viagra pills are dispensed every second – nearly 300 million tablets per year.  There aren’t any good statistics about it, but it is questionable how many of those pills are related to biomechanical dysfunction on the part of the man who takes it versus any number of other reasons he might not be able to achieve or maintain an erection.  Additionally, there is an explosion in the media about the phenomenon of “sex addiction” – an experience of lack of control over compulsive sexual desire/behavior wreaking havoc in lives.

The study of sexuality and “sexual energy” has been around for a long time – Tantra emerged in India more than 6,000 years ago with an understanding of how sexual energy can be used to benefit health and reach enlightenment.  Chinese Taoist sexual practices have been around since the Han Dynasty (200 BCE).  But these practices take learning, patience, and time, just as talk therapy and reducing stress, anxiety, and fatigue through meditation do.  These techniques might all work to create a rich, satisfying sex life, but they would require us to slow down and investigate what is working and what isn’t; and to talk to people and evaluate their experiences in a quantitative way.  Perhaps the “failure” of drug companies to thus far find a “magic pill” that would increase sexual desire and functioning in women is not because women are sexually hopeless but more points a need for us to slow down and investigate the mechanics of sexual energy and desire; not just for women, but for us all.

Samantha Smithstein, Psy.D.

But more and more attention is being paid to the possible downside of all of this media consumption as well. Some of it is simply a matter of time – when we consume 12 hours of media per day at home we don’t have time for other things. For example, one in seven married respondents said that use of devices was causing them to see less of their spouses, and 1 in 10 said they spent less time with their children under 18.

However, scientists who have been studying media consumption and media multitasking are finding that there may by other effects as well, which range from our ability to relate to others to actual changes in the structure of the brain. For example, we are designed as animals to respond to immediate opportunities and threats as a way to survive. Sudden stimulation (such as a phone call, incoming email, or text message) provokes excitement (a dopamine surge) which can become addictive. People can become bored in its absence.

Some studies have suggested that excessive dependence on our devices is akin to an addiction, similar to issues people have related to food or sex. It may be an apt comparison, because while people can abstain from drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes, electronic media has become essential to modern life. In excess, though, the evidence is mounting that it is counterproductive at best and detrimental at worst.

Additionally, while multitaskers report feeling more productive, research indicates that heavy multitaskers actually have more trouble focusing and shutting out irrelevant information, and experience more stress. Even more concerning is that even after the devices are shut off, fractured thinking and lack of focus persists – our brains are actually being “rewired by technology,” says Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute of Drug Abuse. Dr. Elias Aboujaoude, director of the Impulse Control Disorders Clinic at Stanford, has stated that we are “paying a price in terms of our cognitive life because of this virtual lifestyle.” Some experts believe that our personalities are being reshaped due to exposure to technology, causing us to become more impatient, impulsive, forgetful, and even more narcissistic.

The nonstop interactivity people experience these days is one of the most significant shifts ever in the human environment, said Adam Gazzaley, a neuroscientist at the University of California, San Francisco. “We are exposing our brains to an environment and asking them to do things we weren’t necessarily evolved to do,” he says. Apparently that environment is here to stay. The question is how to we manage our relationship to it, and what the consequences are if we don’t.

As experts study the effects of “getting wired” and sound the alarm, no one has yet to spell out the solutions for us. Looking back in history, there have been periods of technological breakthroughs that have happened and we have plunged ahead, thrilled with the new convenience and speed in our lives, without thinking about future consequences. These days, new programs are springing up around the country to attempt to help people struggle with the technology that appears to be taking over our lives at a rapid pace, but it is a challenge for them to get the attention of the general public. If we could just, for a moment, sustain our attention in their direction, we might be able to hold on to that ability for just a little longer.

Samantha Smithstein, Psy.D.

There are some who argue that this description fits most teens and young adults and is appropriate to some degree for everyone in this developmental phase of life. However, both researchers compare similarly aged kids from other generations and the difference is striking.

This difference raises the question of why? Researchers Konrath and O’Brien hazard a few guesses, most related to the increase in exposure to and use of media. For example, many in this current generation have had repeated lifetime exposure to violent video games and films, and there is a growing body of research suggesting that violent video games (and perhaps films) are a cause of increased aggressive behavior, thoughts, and feelings, and a decrease in empathy and prosocial behavior across both gender and culture. Additionally, the researchers surmise that the ease of having (and ignoring or dumping) online “friends” may make it easy to tune out when they don’t feel like responding to the distress of others, and may carry over offline as well. They also add that the inflated expectations of success fueled by “reality shows” creates a social environment that encourages self-focus and works against slowing down and listening to someone who needs a bit of sympathy.

Obviously, any statements about an entire generation are not true of every person in that generation. Clearly there are young people today who are deeply empathic and caring. But the general trends and statistics are alarming, and it would behoove those of us in a position to influence today’s youth to pay attention and be proactive about it while we can. Paying attention to the forces that influence children and young people so that they can grow up to be empathic is not only better for them, but ultimately better for us all.

Samantha Smithstein, Psy.D.

Social networking sites are not new for kids. For example, in 2003 Gaia Online was launched. Gaia Online is a mix of social networking and a massive multiplayer online role-playing game with avatars. It boasts about 300,000 active players daily. Imbee, a San Francisco based kid-friendly version of MySpace, was launched in 2007. Similar to Togetherville, on this site kids can only network with people they know any every change must be approved by the parent.

There is much discussion about the dangers for kids of participating in the online world. As social networking sites became popular for example, reports surfaced of young teens being lured to meet men who sexually assaulted them. Earlier this month news agencies reported that in growing numbers birth parents of adopted children are increasingly using Facebook and other social networking sites to track down their offspring, even in cases when the children were removed from their homes and ties severed due to abuse and neglect. Finally, there is the basic question of whether it is good for kids to spend the time sitting in front of a computer instead of more creative or face-to-face activities.

However, in spite of how reluctant parents might be to have their kids participate in the online world of social networking, in truth there is more and more pressure for kids to join-in the digital age and hopefully learn how to navigate it safely and in moderation rather than simply avoiding it. “What we want to do is build good digital citizens,” said founder and CEO of Togetherville, Inc. Mandeep Dhillon, who is the father of three children.

Of course, with all of what has happened with Facebook, there has been trust lost in social networking sites and how much control anyone has over their (or their children’s) privacy or safety. In the wake of the controversy, some people have decided to cancel their accounts; others have decided to pull all private information off of their profile. But it appears that most people have shrugged their shoulders and continued to enjoy the benefits of online social networking. They will likely sign their kids up as well, hoping that the safeguards designed by the company will truly do just that – keep their kids safe. And we can all hope that additionally the parents are also up to the task of teaching them how to balance the activity with others that they need for their healthy development.

Samantha Smithstein, Psy.D.

One such issue commonly raised is related to language and communication skills. Concerns have been expressed that constantly using abbreviated language such as “u,” “brb,” “LOL,” and “L8r,” as well as brief, abbreviated sentences, may be causing kids to lose grammar skills and become less functionally literate. Additionally, there has been concern that the ease of communicating through “indirect means” (email, texting, tweeting, social networking sites) has given young people less practice at the art of speaking about challenging things face to face.

Thankfully, preliminary research indicates that at least some of these fears may be unfounded. A recent study from the British Academy found that young students who texted with higher frequency and used “textisms” a great deal actually performed better on spelling measures then their peers. There was also a high correlation between the texters and their overall literacy, reasoning skills, and ability to switch easily back and forth between textisms and proper English. One of the authors of the study, Dr. Clare Wood, stated that it was a surprise to the researchers to find that “textism use was actually driving the development of phonological awareness and reading skill in children. Texting also appears to be a valuable form of contact with written English for many children, which enables them to practice reading and spelling on a daily basis.” Further, there have been some arguments by others that the explosion of email, text, social networking and the availability of information online has forced the current generation to become more literate (at least in terms of writing and self-expression) than any generation prior.

The above-mentioned study does not, however, address some of the concerns about the effect that texting may have on young people’s social skills. In Pew focus groups teens acknowledge that they do use electronic media (texting and email) to avoid confrontation or uncomfortable situations. The ability to discuss and address issues is a learned skill, and the number of options available to young people for avoiding learning this skill by face to face interaction is worrisome. That said, the Pew Center’s Amanda Lenhart, one of the study’s authors, reports that teens have retained the ability to be strategic about when not to text, especially with parents: the majority of teens reported that when they want something from their parents, they are still more likely to pick up the phone and call or ask in person than to text, aware that they are more likely to “get the yes” from a face-to-face interaction.

The jury is still out, then, on texting and it’s effects on the development of language and communication with young people. On the one hand, it appears that it may be making them better readers, writers and thinkers (or at minimum not interfering with those skills for the kids that already are good at these skills). Indeed, it could be that the kids who are the most verbal have a tendency to text the most. That said, face to face communication is a unique skill set necessary for successful relationships socially and in the workplace. It seems prudent for parents and educators to focus on these skills and ensure that in spite of the availability of these alternate – and emotionally easier – modes of communication, young people still learn how to talk to others.

Samantha Smithstein, Psy.D.

People in treatment for their stealing behaviors need to be able to question their behaviors, feelings and beliefs in order to break through denial about the reality of their impulse disorder.  When shame gets in the way of real thinking it is hard to build an effective intervention and a relapse prevention program.

People with kleptomania need to truly accept that they have an impulse disorder that leads them to steal and that on their own, without support they are helpless to prevent it from happening again and again.  Accepting one has an impulse disorder isn’t easy.  It means that one has to accept that they are not in control and this can be a terrifying reality.

It can also be partly relieving.  When a patient accepts their impulse disorder they can take responsibility and build a program of sobriety and relapse prevention by learning to lean on others in a healthy supportive way and by changing their behaviors and thoughts.

A significant part of the recovery process is the acknowledgement that their stealing behavior has caused harm to others.  A sign of recovery is when they feel remorse and begin to question how they plan to make amends for the problems and pain they have caused. But if shame combined with self-criticism is allowed to remain in charge and goes unchallenged it is likely that the self-defeating cycle of relapses will continue. 

Elizabeth Corsale, MA, MFT

There are likely many reasons why young people might send such an electronic message.  Most teens have experiemented sexually, and it’s possible that sexting is just another available venue to do so.  For some, it could be a way of getting attention, for others a method of seduction or anther way to say, “I love you.”  The answer could be as simple as “because they can,” and some have suggested it is partially due to the proliferation (and therefore normalization) of sexual and sexualized images on the internet.

While most teens and young adults who send these photos may see it as a harmless flirty note, the potential ramifications are far greater, because once it is sent, the photo is a permanent record that is now out of the hands of the sender. Approximately 40% of teens say it is common for nude or semi-nude photos to get shared with people other than the intended recipient. In Ohio in 2008 a middle school girl sent a nude photo of herself to a boy she liked and the photo subsequently circulated throughout the middle and high school. The girls was suspended and then was taunted so viciously by her peers that she ended up hanging herself. In yet another example of where the photos might go, there are pornographic websites online devoted solely to sexting photos that include pictures of teens.

In addition to the potential lack of privacy, pornographic use, and exposure to humiliation, one of the other issues related to sexting by teens is that of child-pornography laws. Last year, shortly after he turned 18, a boy in Florida sent a naked photo of his 16 year old girlfriend (that she had taken and sent to him) to her friends and family after an argument. The result: he was convicted of sending child pornography, sentenced to five years probation, and required by Florida law to register as a sex offender.  More recently, the ACLU was able to block prosecution of three girls in Pennsylvania who had made risque photos of themselves that showed up on classmates cellphones.

Kids make a momentary decision to take a nude photo of themselves and send it, much in the way teens make many of the decisions during that time in their life. However, in this case, that photo is “out there” forever, and potentially widely dispersed for an indefinite period of time. This presents another issue related to modern technology that our society (psychology, law, schools, etc.) has not yet caught up to. Is it a crime to create and send sexually provocative photos of underage girls or boys? Thus far, this has been considered pornography. But what if the photographer was the teen themselves? Who then should be charged? Only the individual who disseminates the image, or also the teen who took the photo and sent it? If so, should it be a felony or misdemeanor? There are no easy answers to these questions, and issues such as First Amendment rights, child protection laws, and age of consent are at stake.

Some, such as Marty Klein, a Palo Alto author and sex therapist, believe the issue has been blown out of proportion. “Sexting is the latest way adults are getting panicky about teen sexuality,” he asserts. This may or may not be true. The question of sexuality and sexual rights and protection of young people has yet to be a fixed concept in our ever-changing society. However, sexting as an expression of sexuality amongst teens is potentially graver, given the permanence of it. Meanwhile, while one in five teens send or receive sexual images to each other, parents, schools, and the legal system scramble to try to figure out what, if anything, to do about it